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Well, when Chad asked me to write my coming out story, I wasn't sure what exactly to say. I mean, I've come out to some friends and family, and each time was different. I've had people break down and cry,
and others' faces lit up as they asked "really?" in a hopeful voice. (the sad thing is that none of the second group were guys. Dammit.) So I'm gonna tell you about the first person I came out to,
besides my sister whom i talked to through my whole questioning phase.
So I decided to tell my friend Jess; I'd met her about 4 months before, but I knew that she'd be OK with it. Well, I was reasonably sure- I was nervous as hell, because there's a difference between joking
that it wouldn't matter if someone was gay and actually meeting someone who is. So it was Christmas-time, dead of winter, and I'm sitting in the vestibule of her residence.
Now the thing about Jess is that she's always late. If you want to meet her in an hour, tell her to meet you three hours in advance. It's like the rule of three, but nothing to do with American Pie 2.
So here I am, we were supposed to leave for the Rideau Centre about 40 minutes ago, and I'm sitting in this school area. It's the closest thing I've experienced to waiting for a girl to do her
makeup for a date. Ironic, isn't it?
So she finally comes down, and asks what's up. She'd been on vacation with her parents, and I'd hinted that I wanted to talk to her about something, but wouldn't say it on the net or the phone. (it was a
tip I'd read somewhere- it's a bad idea to tell someone on the phone) So here I am, poised on the brink of boldly going where I hadn't been before, and I lose all self-confidence. So I start stammering,
"well, um, like, it's, um, like this..." And inside my head, I'm basically thinking that I'm a total moron. But eventually I choke it out: "Jess,
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"Why isn't she reacting? Oh shit, I'm dead."
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I'm gay."
She sits there, a tad surprised, and I'm thinking, "why isn't she reacting? Oh shit, I'm dead."
Finally, she jumps up and says: "I'm so glad you told me!", and gives me a hug.
So after that, I began to start telling the rest of my friends and family. I told Mom (she cried), Dad (he was OK with it), my cousin (she cheered),
and even my grandmother (she asked if that was all that had been bothering me. I said yeah, so she went back to her knitting). Everyone
I've told has either accepted it because it was still me, or it didn't make a difference to them. I know that there are people who might not accept it, but I luckily have been able to avoid them.
My advice to anyone coming out is basically to do their research. Find out what they think about the topic (bring up Tom Cruise's lawsuits,
and say that they're not fair, for example), and decide on that. Every time you tell someone, you gain an ally who can help you to come out
to other people, and each time you do it, it becomes easier. Well, that's it, so good luck with everything!
Jono
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