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Is Danger Ahead in Your Relationship?

He's cute, smart and makes you laugh ... but most of all he wants to be with you. All the time.

He loves everything about you. Well, he has noticed that you're not a Greek God, but says he's mad about you all the same. He declares his undying love for you and says he would kill himself if you ever left him.

At first you thought his words of suicidal love made yours a romance of Shakespearean proportions, but now it creeps you out a little. He wants to know everything about you: where you are, who you were with and what you did there.

Sometimes he drives a little recklessly because he saw you talking to another guy at the party. Or he shoves you, just a little - playfully really - when you tell him you are going to hang with the boys Friday night. Still, when he looks at you with those eyes and tells you he's crazy about you, everything else fades ...

When beginning a new relationship, sometimes the excitement of going out with someone you really like stops you from seeing the warning signs of abuse.

People don't suddenly turn into abusers when they become adults. It begins in their teen dating relationships.

Remember, you don't have to have broken bones or a black eye to be abused. You may be experiencing emotional abuse, which could turn into physical abuse. It can start small and get bigger. Much bigger. Big enough to send a victim to the hospital or the morgue.

 Answer the following questions. If you answer yes to more than two, turn to someone for help.

Are you going out with someone who...

Is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you
 have friends, thinks you're always flirting with other
 boys, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?

• Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, doesn't take your opinion seriously?

• Is scary? You worry about how they will react to things you say or do.

• Threatens you in some ways?

• Is violent, has a history of fighting, loses his temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?

• Pressures you into sexual acts you are not comfortable with, is forceful or scary around sex. Attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying, "If you really loved me you would?"

• Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?

• Blames you when he mistreats you. Says you provoked him, pressed his buttons, made him do it, led him on?

• Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems. "Guys just don't understand me."

• Believes that he should be in control and powerful and that you should be passive and submissive?

• Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked or physically abused you in some other way?

• Has prompted warnings to you from your family and friends, who've said they were worried for your safety?

 

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