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Well, I got into the eighth grade knowing I was bi; over the summer I had
began to accept this starting at boyscout camp...NO, nothing
happened there between me and any guys, I wish something had, but nothing did. The only thing that happened there were a few very hot guys including Russian twins...whoa! Anyways,
I'm not the most macho guy, most people ask me if I am gay, I just say no because I'm not, I'm bi. I don't exactly try to put the impression on people that I am straight, I
sort of want people to think I am gay otherwise, guys wouldn't have a clue on me and I know how that is.
This is really annoying and I hate it when people do it but everything
gets
worse day by day at my school. There are two guys in my class, let's call
them Jack and Bob. Jack and Bob sit near me in one class of the day and
everyday it is
hell just a variation of it. Neither I liked much ever, John
just about sexually abused my friend (the friend is a girl, John isn't gay!
He attempted to but my friend is not
a submissive girl and can kick anyone's ass
if she wants to.) and the other is a redneck. John is a a flat out jerk, he
is occasionally nice but most of the time he annoys
me. John stabs me with
mechanical pencils, punches me, etc and I have cuts and bruises everyday. The
teachers see this happening too, they just look and laugh which is the
main
thing that pisses me off. Bob is different he usually assaults me with verbal
things everyday which can be just as bad, I try to ignore it but it is really
hard. For
example, I wear Birkenstocks or thong sandals to school sometimes.
Any day I do he will point it out to everyone like I am some kind of freak for
wearing something other than cowboy boots or work
boots to school. By the way
he wears cowboy boots to school, he looks like a fat girl if you looked at him
waist down wearing tight pants and his boots, my god. And the
thing that
really makes me wonder is how they have the nerve commenting on everything I
wear and then call me gay. I'm not the one telling them to wear Gucci or
Versache. (I
don't know how to spell either.) So all of this going on around
me and no one knows I am bi except for various people I met on sites like chadz but what does that count for?
Over the summer I also met Sarah, the friend of my best friend, Amber. Sarah is a girl by the way. Amber lives in Tennessee and goes to my school; Sarah doesn't, she
lives in Pennsylvania where Amber is from. (by the way, Sarah and Amber are more fake names of the people I am talking about.) Sarah has told me she is bi but not Amber. So a day
or so later I tell Sarah I too am bi and of course she is fine with it and all. The first days of school have flown by and its September or somewhere around there.
Sarah just
told Amber she is bi and Amber is fine with it overall but still thinks it is creepy; this whole ordeal was really hard for Sarah it seemed, I had been telling Sarah it would be okay for a long time but
I didn't realize how hard it really was. Remember, I haven't told anyone I really personally know yet. So now I am considering who I should tell first.
The best
person to tell I can think of is Amber who already has a bi friend so
she has to be able to understand. So I am riding the bus to school thinking
about how the hell I am going to tell
Amber that I am bi. I am worrying she
might yell out, "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE BI?!?!?" and everyone would hear and I
would be beat up. I get off the bus and grab Amber
aside and I am telling her
to not scream or anything as we walk away from the crowds. Amber is talking
about how it can't be that big of a deal and all and I begin to
talk.
"Amber...are you really not going to freak???" I say as I stall as long as
possible. She reassures me she won't and I go on, "Okay, well.........."
Everything around me stops, all I can think of is just to tell her. "I'm bi."
I blurt out quickly and slightly too loud. "Okay...it's okay, I am
still
creeped out by you and Sarah but it's okay." she said. I walked to class and
sat down smiling, even if someone had shot my knee I would still have
smiled...maybe
giggle a bit.
Now I have two months left in the eighth grade, and I have told around fifteen people that I am bi including telling my big crush and I told him he is hot, oddly he
reacted better than everyone else and just said, "It's fine." and "It's cool." Moral of the story is, start small, tell a good friend and after that it gets pretty easy to
tell people. Right now, I may not be the happiest person, I don't have a boyfriend, I haven't ever had a boyfriend either but at least I can say, "Oh my god Amber, today i saw
____ shirtless...he is so ripped, damn he is hot!!!"
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