SUPPORTzone Support Stories

Ask Chad Advice

Our new Ask Chad made its debut on Monday March 5, 2012. There you can ask your question directly or you may continue to submit questions through this website as ...

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I live in a society where being gay is O

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I live in a society where being gay is Ok by Christopher I am a returning member [to the forum]. I used Chadz for a period of time when I was in ...

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Find Something To Pull You Forward

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Hello I am Andrew and I am 17. I was reading about being a survivor to the thought of suicide and decided to write to you about my experience. I ...

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I'm Going To Be Here For You

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Here's my story. 'Derek, I've told you time and time again, I'm going to be here for you.' That's something I hear on a day-to-day basis. Names Derek and yup, ...

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Always Remember You Are Never Alone

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My story on suicide: Sometimes I wonder how many lives could have been saved, how many families could have been preserved, and how much more love there could have been ...

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Colby & The Need To Confide in Someone

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My name is Colby and I've just finished reading the coming out stories on your site. I was very moved, but at the same time troubled. So I decided to ...

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Alan on Brokeback Mountain

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My mind is still spinning . On Friday night I saw a movie which I thought was to be a love story, Brokeback Mountain, which turned out to be ...

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Matt's Positive About Coming Out

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I'm in the process of coming out. It's been quite difficult. I've had to think about how my life will be affected by it, and I have to admit I ...

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Jeff's Desire to be Free

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My name is Jeff and I m 16 and I m still hiding from the world because I just don t know how people will take it. I live in ...

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Always Hang In -No Matter What!

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Well...I know a few Senior level people..Brad and Dan. We have become best friends for life. Noting would ever get in the way of our friendship! So, in early December, ...

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Mike on Suicide & Coming Out

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The first time I realized that I had an attraction to other boys was around seventh grade.  Up until that time I had always had little crushes on girls.  I ...

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Nothing to Lose.. But Your Life

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Hi, I'm nick, 22y/o gay man, I was browsing thru your site, and I read the suicide not! section. I was kinda affected, cos I've been thru that, so I ...

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Brad's Tale of Survival

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I am 14, I like acting, movies, and music, and I am half way  through 9th grade. I am also gay. I realized this when I was in 5th grade ...

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Wyand's Coming Out

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About the coming out stories, i would like to share mine with you. I am a 20 year old com pilot student i came out at 19. To make a ...

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Clint and the .38 Revolver

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I don't guess my coming out story is all that riveting.  I didn't get disowned, no one beat or yelled at me, and for the most part life continued on ...

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Matt's Positive About Coming Out PDF Print Email


positive-about-coming-outI'm in the process of coming out. It's been quite difficult. I've had to think about how my life will be affected by it, and I have to admit I am more than a little scared about the repercussions for the future. But the thing I am realising is that I've been the same person all along, I have achieved the things I have achieved by being that same person, and none of that has to change - it's only that now I will be more honest with others about an important aspect of my identity. The thing that I've also realised which has helped me through this experience is how empowering it is to be in charge of my own self-image and not to cede control of it to the whims of the majority. What I am trying to say is, sometimes the 'majority' gets it wrong, like with its attitude to GBLTI people. But society has only moved forward through the minority - great thinkers, philosophers, inventors, adventurers have challenged the status quo and have taken society to a higher level.

You don't have to be someone who is marginalised at the very fringe of society, you don't have to be "down and out", depressed, falling further and further into a lack of interest in anything. You can step up and be who you are, you are a normal person, your sexuality is but *one part* of the many important parts of who you are. It is part of what defines you, but it is not 'defining' of you. I have had to learn to see myself as a whole person; although I identify with the term 'gay', it does not capture - and it frankly does not attempt to encapsulate - all the other wonderful things that comprise me as an individual.

GBLTI people have contributed to society in marvellous ways. One example is a current Justice of the High Court of Australia, Michael Kirby, a great legal mind who has done amazing things especially in terms of advocating social and ethical issues. He is an inspiration to me particularly because i am studying law. People like him throughout the ages are very inspiring and it is their work that, slowly but surely, breaks down the misinformation and unsupported opinions within the broader community about GBLTI people.

When you think about it, everyone is part of a 'minority' group in a sense. Be it race, religion, nationality, political leanings, disability, ailment, family situation, personal history... The list could go on forever. All have had to deal with the inherent difficulties of being 'different'. It is sadly part of the human condition. But also part of the human condition is the yearning for a more tolerant, fair, open society, accepting of differences. The evidence is there from year to year, from generation to generation, from age to age that human society is slowly improving in many areas, or finding knowledge to deal with long-standing problems. The recent Time Magazine article 'The Battle over Gay Teens' shows how far we've come, and also how far we have to go. I know much more will be achieved in our generation, as we, purposely or just through the ordinary course of things, make small victories, day by day.

At some time in our lives we have to deal with these thoughts. I have dealt with them over the past two weeks - starting off alone by my thoughts one afternoon, then scrutinising my sexuality and learning more about it, then getting depressed about the future, then finding role models and support and accepting myself, then deciding how to come out, and now coming out. Coming out is a personal victory for me as I improve my character by being more honest about myself.

 
ChadzBoyz Support Stories Matt's Positive About Coming Out