SUPPORTzone Coming Out

A Dozen Coming Out True Stories

Here are a dozen coming out true stories that we hope you will enjoy over at our True Stories blog on AskChad.org. We're looking for your coming out story and ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

Growing Up Gay

News image

Even as a young boy, Eric always felt that he was different.It took him a long time to understand that he was gay, and, then, to tell others. "I had ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

Coming Out: The Inner War

News image

by Curtis (Dragoon1000) PART ONE: CLOSETED FEELINGSWell, my coming out story is quite convoluted and filled with a number of emotional twists and turns: read on and discover the ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

MOM: "Why no girlfriend?"

News image

MOM: "Why no girlfriend?" Dropped Hints -Part 1 Some of our forum members have been dropping hints to parents and others that they might be gay. One of the common questions seems ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

ChadzBoyz Guide to Coming Out

News image

ChadzBoyz Guide to Coming Out You are out to yourself and have finally admitted you are gay. You don't need to go any further and there is no rush to come ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

Coming Out Tips for All Occasions

News image

Coming Out Tips by TomxSawyer Coming out to Family and Friends Coming out has to be the most scariest time in a gay teens life, but I'm going to try and give you ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

I'm Gay

{youtube}tsjOlsG9ZG4{/youtube}

Click & Scroll Down to View...

Coming Out - How do I do it?

News image

How Do I Do It? You've thought about it a lot. So - you're sure you are gay. Now what? It might help to tell somebody. You don't have to do this ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

Mom Supports Gay Son

News image

The following is a very moving letter written by Sharon Underwood, the mother of a gay teen son in Vermont.   A must read for all teen LGBT youth! Thank God ...

Click & Scroll Down to View...

More in: Coming Out

-
+
8
Growing Up Gay PDF Print Email


Even as a young boy, Eric always felt that he was different.

It took him a long time to understand that he was gay, and, then, to tell others. "I had a lot of difficult days," he says. "I felt ashamed."

Some of his most desperate days were because some kids called him 'faggot' and 'homo.' As is too often the case, the teachers who heard Eric being harassed turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the harassment.

Eric was nervous and afraid not only at school but also at home. What if his parents heard he was gay and got angry? What if they kicked him out of the house? "That's what every gay kid fears," Eric says. The thought of being thrown out on the street and being disowned is devastating.

sup_growing-up-gayWhen he was teased and bullied at school, Eric didn't tell his parents or sister -and definitely not his brother. "I would go and sulk," he says, "and cry by myself in my room." His brother was a star school athlete. Sometimes Eric would hear his brother talk about an incident with a teammate on the field. "That's so gay," he'd snarl. That made Eric cringe and wonder how his own brother would react to his being gay? He looked up to his older brother and the thought of him rejecting Eric was so upsetting he feared the day his brother would learn the truth.

At school, sometimes Eric was so stressed he felt sick. He would ask the teacher to be excused from class and just sit alone in a bathroom stall locked away from the world. A few times the school nurse called his mother to come and get him.

His mother suspected something was wrong. But Eric kept saying I'm okay or "Stop bugging me, I'm ok" and then would storm out of the room. His mom said, "I'm here if you want to talk and I love you." Sensing Eric needed more help than she could offer, she insisted that Eric see a therapist. His mother went with him to one of the therapy sessions. That's when he told her that he was gay.

"I looked at my little boy sitting there, crying his heart out," mom said. "I got out of my chair and knelt in front of him." she said, 'I know this is difficult for you, Eric. But I love you and always will. We'll get through this together."

While it was one thing for Eric to tell his mother, he could not bring himself to tell his dad. He left his task to his mother.

Dad knocked on Eric's bedroom door and entered when Eric said, "Yeah, come on in." "Mom says you're gay. I want you to know that I love you and it doesn't matter to me. You'll always be my son and I'm proud of you. I want to be a part of your life."

Eric and his dad hugged and cried together. "It was huge to get that off my shoulders," Eric says. "My brothers and sisters have been great, too. They've all totally accepted me."

Support from his family helped Eric feel stronger inside and the fears subsided. When a classmate picked on him he'd say, "You like girls, I like guys. That's the only difference."

When he finally stood up for himself, the teasing stopped.

His brother later apologized for things he'd said about gays.

"Before I told my parents I was gay," Eric says, "I lived in fear they wouldn't accept.me. Now, that I know my parents are there for me is a great feeling and it makes everything better."

Eric knows that tough days still lie ahead. "There are still people who are against homosexuals. I've dealt with them before, and I'll probably have to deal with them again. But the love from my family helps me cope with cruel comments. I know my parents love me. I know my bother and sister accept me. It makes me love myself more and gives me strength."   

If you're growing up gay, like Eric, you've probably run into situations like the following at school.

Eighty percent of students say they've heard remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" frequently or often at school, and nearly nine out of ten reported hearing "that's so gay" or "you're so gay" - meaning stupid or worthless - frequently or often.

More than thirty percent of gay youth had been threatened or injured at school in the last year alone!

Gay and lesbian teens are at high risk because 'their distress is a direct result of the hatred and prejudice that surround them,' not because of their inherently gay or lesbian identity orientation.

How can you deal with it. Here are suggestions adapted from a brochure from the Campaign to End Homophobia and posted on www.advocatesforyouth.org

"I think what helps me the most is being able to accept who I am as a person-knowing my goals, my hopes, my feelings about life. The most beautiful benefit is being able then to accept my orientation."
Tyson, California, age 17

More and more gay youth are learning to feel better about themself. As you start to listen to your deepest feelings and learn more about what being gay means, you will begin to be comfortable with your sexuality. This is the process called 'coming out.' The first step in coming out is to tell yourself that you are gay and to say, "That's okay. I'm okay." Later you may want to tell someone else-someone you trust to be understanding and sympathetic. You might choose a friend your own age, a sibling, a parent, or other adult. Some gay youth are able to come out to their families. Others are not. Start slow with someone you trust and the rest will unfold as it should.

In the beginning, be cautious about whom you tell, but be honest with yourself. Just as self-denial costs you, coming out will pay off. When gay youth accept their sexuality, most say they feel calmer, happier, and more confident.


 
ChadzBoyz Coming Out Growing Up Gay